The People are just, but a person should be merciful

The gospel is comprised by dichotomies.  Justice and mercy. Faith and works. Descending below all things to rise above all things. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.

The Spirit functions through two dichotomous means: the heart and the mind.  While both are important, they are not equally important.  Justice will always trump mercy.  Works are always more powerful than faith.  But with the heart and mind, the emphasis depends on the individual.  

For me, I tend to be much more logical than emotional.  That can be a problem sometimes.  Like when I want to cry, but I can't.  Or when everyone is excited and I just kinda laugh.  But then again, it can be good.  I'm thankful for my overactive prefrontal cortex in most situations. 

I posted about my best friend Welsford a few days ago.  Our relationship was a little out of the ordinary.   So the story

Welsford H. Clark

My second week in the MTC we went to the temple, as usual, and decided to do sealings.  One of the older guys in the group greeted me and asked my name as he introduced himself as Gus.  We went into the session and I ended up sitting next to him at on point.  He asks me a few more questions, which I politely respond but feel a little hesitant because the sealer was still talking.  He went through the standard mormon questions: where I went to school, what my major was, where I was from, who my great-great grandfathers were etc.  He said he thought for sure he knew me.  I joked we probably knew each other in the preexistence.  He looked somewhat familiar, so it made sense to me when he told me he was a retired BYU professor.  Maybe I had seen him on campus or something.   I thought he was kinda cool.  We met each other on the way out and then we parted.  

Two days later I got this letter from someone I had never heard of: Welsford Clark.  I was a good missionary, so I kept the letter until night to open it.  Back in the room at 9:02, I finally opened the strange letter with great curiosity.  Obviously it was from Gus. I start reading the letter and he explained himself and even apologized for writing so candidly and he went on to state that something in the back of his head told him to write and he said to look in my patriarchal blessing for a specific phrase.  The phrase was in there twice, and even more, it was in the part that talked about me in the premortal life.  It was one of those once in a lifetime (or twice in a mission) moments that I cried.  

I wrote him back and we began a correspondence that lasted my whole mission.  He was the only person I wrote letters to consistently, and I had reason to.  We were best friends.  And the connection was instantaneous.  I think I've had best friends before, but none of those people remained my best friend.  Gus Clark would be like a brother, but he was too old.  So I told everyone that he was my grandpa, just cause it was simpler than saying that we were best friends and then having to explain the story.  

I found out this morning that Welsford Clark moved on to the other side from a heart-attack he had yesterday.  I had just arrived library in the Jerusalem Center, but I got up and left when I found out. I knew I was sad, but I didn't feel anything.  Not any emotions anyway.  Something similar happened on my mission and it was the darkest time of my life, yet it was then that I felt the comforting power of the Holy Ghost more than ever.  The same comforting feeling this morning was like airport security by not letting anything through my tear ducts.  My problem is if I don't cry, then the sadness stays in my head as a thought that is so mind numbing that it prevents my usual pleasant awareness of others.  After a few minutes of mind numbing contemplation, a certain distinct thought hit me, which caused some sort of chemical reaction that made me cry.  The moment was fitting with the rain pouring outside and Brother Squires playing some organ music.  It was like my 5 minute personal funeral.  

As I reflect on our short time we had together, I learned one important lesson from Gus.  He would sacrifice anything for anyone.  He looked specifically for the people that needed his help the most.  I can conclude one thing from our friendship: mercy does not seem just.  But, justice would be incomplete without mercy.  When God sent me here, I think he was just in his decision about who and what surrounded me growing up.  I felt His merciful hand, however, for the first time with great power when I met Gus Clark.  

The world seems a little different now.  But I think the joys will far outweigh the sorrows in my life from now on.  Gus was always a happy person despite the difficult situations he went through.  I will be eternally grateful for the three and a half years I had with my best friend and knowing that I will see him again someday.  Separation is but a brief moment in the line of eternal time.