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1. The difference between culture and truth
The best example I have for this is marriage. In South America, most countries require couples to be married civilly, and so a religious ceremony does not constitute a legal marriage. The idea was foreign to me as an American because only gay couples are married by a judge in the States. Even non-religious couples get married by a preacher or pastor of some sort, even in weddings outside of a church or temple. Because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints recognizes government in all locations, investigators living with an opposite sex with whom they were not married were required to marry before baptism. Although apparent as a youth, the obvious difference between temple marriage and civil marriage became more apparent. Any marriage performed outside of the temple is temporal, null and void at death. Besides legal benefits and social standards, a civil marriage has no bearing. In other words, a private company that endorsed and enacted marriage would have as much power as the government. Anything that the government decrees about marriage is not truth, but rather culture. True marriage is performed through the ordinances and authority that resides with the Priesthood in the temple. Luckily here in the States culture has adpoted truth as far as marriage goes (we have a ways to go with the rest of the law of chasity) and so most marriages expect committment, love, respect, and a mother and father for children.
2. Repentance
I didn't really have to deal with repenting in the stereotypical sense. I never really did anything "wrong" and so I never had to make anything "right." I discovered halfway through my mission that repentance was a two-part process. Indeed, unrighteous actions must be made right, but just as important as fixing sins of commission is repenting of our sins of omission. In His loving kindness, God prepared a way for man to continually need repentance. Repenting of sins of commission helps prepare a person for repentance from sins of omission because the process for both is the same and involves the steps of the gospel. In both cases, desire is the first step to change. Almost immediately after the desire, hope and faith are needed to progress to the next step of action. The action resulting from faith is the part of repentance AND THIS IS THE MOST CRUCIAL STEP because faith without works is dead.
3. Patience
An integral part of success in life involves patience. Patience is not equivalent to waiting. Patience, as defined by President Deiter F. Uchdorf, is active, not passive. So although I am naturally a patient person, especially in my relationships with others, I had to learn a new dimension on my mission. I knew what I wanted, and even though I did not get what I want right away, I continued working. At the end of my mission I don't think I ever felt like I achieved all that I wanted to, and I am extremely glad for that. If I had acheived what I desired, I don't think I would have continued working as hard as I did. Patience is working while waiting.
4. Being Supportive
I've always been ready and willing to try new things, like corn on pizza (which is actually pretty good). As a missionary, however, I realized that leaders occasionally suppress other's desires to try new things. Take, for example, my companion Kyle Lane. We were together for an extended period of time, and quite honestly the missionary work in our area wasn't the greatest. The only thing that kept me from going crazy was his company. He had alot of ideas that I thought might be a little strange: writing down every door we stopped by, knocking on doors of rich people, but all in all it was simple stuff that every missionary should be doing. I didn't think anything would work, but from my previous companion I learned anything was possible. With all of his ideas I decided that I would at the very least stay out of his way and not say anything negative. Now, I can't say that we had amazing success, but we are going to be roommates this fall and we are still the best of friends. I did hear that one of his ideas, keeping a record of all the people we stopped by, helped future missionaries in the area find people to baptize. The second part to this lesson is supporting a leader even when I didn't agree with his decision making. In one of my last areas, I had a bishop who was vehemently opposed to baptizing anyone who wasn't a perfect member. I never felt so criticized and frustrated at the same time. My leaders and some of my companions were anything but patient with him, and he was quick to let us know his disgust for us. Despite this, I remember praying every day that I might find a way to help him change and to work better with him. Although we never developed a perfect relationship, I at least was able to learn humble service and sacrifice. My frustration turned to understanding at the very least, and almost an empathy for what he had to endure as a leader. I still don't know the impact I had, but I know the impact that he had on me will be unforgettable. One of the most important lessons about the commandments I learned from him. I asked him once what was the most important commandment that we taught as missionaries. He replied that it was tithing, and in a roundabout way he explained that tithing is one of the few actions that people have to do in the church. Besides attending church, tithing is one of few commandments members fulfill before the temple. All of the other commandments tend to be things that we refrain from doing. Thus, paying tithing is the greatest act of faith a member can show before attending the temple.
After everything I've learned from my mission, I understand that knowledge is fluid and needs to be continually built or it will be lost. I hope I can add to this list vicariously through my friend's missions. Good luck Ashley!
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